Sometimes you want to rip your heart out and kill it, stomp it into the ground, burn it, and then give it away to someone else.

Sometimes you feel as if you've betrayed yourself, and that's why you seem to always be lonely, or seem to want something different. It seems as if you can never have what you want because you let yourself down.

Sometimes you actually do betray yourself. And there's nothing you know to do about any of it.

It seems as if everyone either sees right through you, or sees you and run.

The only moment that you can breathe is when you know he isn't around.

The only moment that kills you is when you're standing next to him, or looking in his hollow eyes.

The last thought that runs through your mind is that of betrayal, disregard, truth, and knowledge. Scary thoughts in your mind. You don't them anymore.

Sometimes you think there is only one way to destroy these thoughts, and that way is death to you whether physically or mentally.

Sometimes you don't think that you can keep up with yourself, as if you're lagging constantly with your emotions.

Sometimes your emotions can be the death of you. So then you much learn to ignore those emotions and form an outer layer. You must learn to let yourself become cold or uncaring. Or you must suffer silently.

Sometimes the suffering part is much more friendlier than being cold or uncaring. To suffer isn't much loss when you are where you are. If you hate yourself enough, or if you have scarred over completely, you shouldn't mind the suffering so much.

Constant suffering leads to loss, constant loss leads to death [of the mind or emotions]. Death leads to self loathing, self loathing leads to the ultimate decisions you must make.

Constant sorrow and self pity is what makes us who we are, just as constant happiness or anger makes us into those types of people.

Then there are people who must hide these feelings from others, for fear of rejection, or fear of hurting someone.

Doing this can eat you up inside, make you suffer more.

In short the whole thing is a cycle, constantly going until the ultimate decisions are made, which is death physically as well as mentally.



Been doing alot of thinking lately... not sure why this...